all the stages

me through my own camera (thank you carolee)

and then as i worked at the market (thank you leslie)

then as i spent one of my last nights with some of the ladies (thanks holly)

and contemplated if this would be a christmas baby (thanks kiera)

all of that was along the way that led me to this:

Fern.

Happy Christmas!

I hope it is merry and bright.

more light

i love the light in their room. I wish the window weren't quite so high, but i love the curtains (thank you Laura for making them in trade ). i won the alphabet. The drawing is by none other than Jeff Hein, whom I have the privilege of knowing. Its of E nursing and Todd and I both love it so much. So tender, and such a real and everyday part of our parenting. Happy life.

the light

this is the best light in my home. right in the kitchen. every november we do a "thankful tree" where we each write a leaf each day. i like how our tree is growing.. and i like to think about how big it will be once my kids are older. thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. kinda sad its already gone, but i'm happy i documented this.

be nice

I was at the store. trying to find something nice to wear to a wedding this weekend (and also for sunday).  I was annoyed at the one saleslady (leave me alone, I just want to look myself. I don't want your suggestions of hideous prints, etc). I was shut off.

Once I find something (score!), I go to the register. This lady is trying to be nice. She's asking about my pregnancy. I'm kinda being a jerk. Short responses. I'd had awful interactions during my errands all day and I was annoyed in general about strangers asking me personal questions.

but then....

she quietly asked----

can you tell me what it is like, to be pregnant and have a baby? I wasn't able to have children and I've always wanted them and I just want to know.

and it pricked my cold, awful heart. and reminded me of the privilege and earning I have done to have the knowledge and experiences with birth and children that I have had. My mindsets aren't the norm.

and I talked, and told her, about the beauty of birth. and how it isn't scary but glorious and that we were created for it.

It was a blessing. It healed the crappy interactions I had that day. Replaced them with the ability to be open with a stranger instead of having openness demanded of me. Reminded me of this experience. I'm grateful.

approach

I'm so completely ok with the composition of this photo. From the Sistine Chapel, this is Adam's hand... the father of us all, blessing, as it were, the hands that protected and ushered this little one's arrival. This is Cathy, the homebirth midwife I had as an attendant (with her practice partner, Briana) for E's birth and my care. I had her over this week and it was so beautiful. Having her presence is that, always. She is wise, knows me well, and really listened. Such a talk we had of so many things. As I approach my own birth experience (#3!), I am reminded, deep down, of my spiritual thoughts, yearnings, and convictions about eternity, truth and right and how those apply to my everyday, but even more in the right now about birth, children, love and responsibility.

1600 pushed to 3200, I think. This was in 2009, November-ish.

today

i was at the library, the last of the errands. it wasn't too busy. i kept running into this lady, or my kids kept running into her, and i was starting to get embarassed because today was not a good mom day. it was a, i'm never a good mom, i'm so exhausted, why can't i be more than i am, kind of day....

well, as we walked out of the library, and i had to use a loud, firm mom voice to tell W not to walk out the door until we could go together, and as i held his hand and started a little discussion on reasons why we should stay together in public (which he normally doesn't have a problem with but it kept happening all over the place today. bottled energy, i don't know, but i just can't move that fast and it scared me how quickly he'd go on ahead)... anyway, this same lady walks out behind me...

and she whispers,
you are a really good mom.
i enjoyed watching you with your children.

And i cried. literally. right there. tears welled up. and i thanked her.

i needed it. so much.

be nice to someone today. they probably need it, too.

Harry and the Potters

Two brothers, who are both Harry Potter (one as year 4 Harry, one as year 7 Harry), are the frontmen of the band. They dress up, talk like they are Harry, sing, are antics filled. Great showmen. And witty lyricists, to boot.

People dress up for these concerts. They tour to libraries in the summer. Reading is cool.

The age range was extremely diverse. More than I was expecting. There were lots of parents there with their older elementary/middle school age kids. And it was awesome.

Poor Wally. This was his reaction throughout most of the concert. He did ask me to take him up front and that was fun for a bit.

All in all, worth it worth it worth it.

today

sprinkles. everywhere. just because i was being lazy
and adding onion powder
instead of diced (real) onion
in the egg salad.


here's the thing, though.
today is glorious.
so i didn't care.
and i photographed instead of being bothered.
glad i learned that. and have proof i've applied it more than once.