December 24, 2011

Happy Christmas!

I hope it is merry and bright.

December 22, 2011

i like

her. so much.

i wish

i had a face that was this perfectly expressive.

December 21, 2011

thoughts-- i love i hate

i love that i'm dotting i's and crossing t's/ i love that i feel purposeful and productive, but also willing to listen to the piece of my heart that is telling me to nurture and embrace the calm space before this baby arrives/i hate that birth is so scary to our culture that just by being behind me in line today, two women spent 15 minutes discussing birth horror stories/ i just finished an enlightening book and reviewed it. I so very much would love to discuss it with you/ i'm finishing up my "to-read" list for 2012/ i realized lists make me accomplish so much more/i finished up the newbery winners very early in the month and am working on my final big review/ i love the new look of our master bedroom after revamping, decluttering and switcheroo-ing/ i love that i'm at the any day stage for my baby and that i just can't wait/ i love that after listening to those harpies about birth i had the unique and beautiful opportunity to be a witness to the beauty and empowerment of birth to someone who didn't know anyone who had birthed naturally or successfully breastfed/ with epidural statistics of what, 97% and abysmal breastfeeding rates, i'm not surprised/ i love birth/ i love its messy, glorious value as an experience emotionally/ i learn so much every time about myself/ i love that i got to hear an amazing talk this past sunday that i am still thinking about/ i love that i got to give a talk the week before that was a joy to prepare/ i love learning new things and teaching them to others/dec 30th at abravanel, they are doing a concert called video games live/ final fantasy has some beautiful music so i bet this concert will be breathtaking/ go for me to tell me all about it?/ i heard one of the soprano airs from messiah today and i got a little teary. it was christmas for a large part of my young life performing it for years and oh i miss it so much/ i love that i got speakers for my ipod for 6 bucks and they are great and perfect for birth/ i love that oreos are completely ok right now/ i love that i've had recent interactions with someone who thinks i'm slightly silly/ i need to not be taken seriously sometimes so that i can up the ante and BE silly/ i love that we're not arguing about names/ i love that yesterday all i wanted was jennifer lopez movies-- proof positive that i am pregnant enough that i can have this baby now-- too tired to even think for my media consumption. bwa haha/ i love that i could have an impromptu night with a girlfriend and go about during the holidays running errands, shopping and laughing/ have decided this must happen yearly/ right now i'm listening to mindy gledhill for the first time/first song still playing/ i already want her christmas cd/ bad.

that's all.

happy holidays!

December 15, 2011

more from the get together.
i sat on the floor and just watched...
sliding the bellows back and forth (i call them billows all the time. bellowsbillows.)
and watching.
i like these so much.

December 14, 2011

so sexy

oh how i love the color red on women. i enjoyed this get together with kiera, leslie and holly. yes and yes.

December 13, 2011

more light

i love the light in their room. I wish the window weren't quite so high, but i love the curtains (thank you Laura for making them in trade ). i won the alphabet. The drawing is by none other than Jeff Hein, whom I have the privilege of knowing. Its of E nursing and Todd and I both love it so much. So tender, and such a real and everyday part of our parenting. Happy life.

December 3, 2011

the light

this is the best light in my home. right in the kitchen. every november we do a "thankful tree" where we each write a leaf each day. i like how our tree is growing.. and i like to think about how big it will be once my kids are older. thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. kinda sad its already gone, but i'm happy i documented this.

December 2, 2011

december books

finishing up the newberys.
can't believe it.

November 15, 2011


holistic blur in my imagery.
thanks keith carter.
also completely what I wanted.
and so perfect of her busy little moving self.

November 14, 2011

the sweet light

i don't photograph outside much.
but seeing the sweet light was nice.
and i like this picture.
the glow.

November 13, 2011


can't believe i got any "serious" pictures from this night.
makebelieve cigarettes are hilarious and awesome.
so are pranksters.

be nice

I was at the store. trying to find something nice to wear to a wedding this weekend (and also for sunday).  I was annoyed at the one saleslady (leave me alone, I just want to look myself. I don't want your suggestions of hideous prints, etc). I was shut off.

Once I find something (score!), I go to the register. This lady is trying to be nice. She's asking about my pregnancy. I'm kinda being a jerk. Short responses. I'd had awful interactions during my errands all day and I was annoyed in general about strangers asking me personal questions.

but then....

she quietly asked----

can you tell me what it is like, to be pregnant and have a baby? I wasn't able to have children and I've always wanted them and I just want to know.

and it pricked my cold, awful heart. and reminded me of the privilege and earning I have done to have the knowledge and experiences with birth and children that I have had. My mindsets aren't the norm.

and I talked, and told her, about the beauty of birth. and how it isn't scary but glorious and that we were created for it.

It was a blessing. It healed the crappy interactions I had that day. Replaced them with the ability to be open with a stranger instead of having openness demanded of me. Reminded me of this experience. I'm grateful.

November 11, 2011


with the ladies
at the park

November 10, 2011

one hundred percent

in love with this photograph.

in studio

November 4, 2011

bonnie in color

mamiya c330 porta 400

bonnie in black and white

mamiya c330 xp2

A modern spin on a classic heirloom

I've got something big and fun going on tomorrow and Monday. I'm slightly obsessed with these new silhouettes and am so excited to offer them as a fun twist on presents for the holidays (or for your cards this year).

Here's the deets:

Saturday November 5th 10-4pm 2pm (the 2-4pm time has been completely filled).
Monday November 7th 9am-noon, 5-9pm.
Cost: $10 per person in advance via paypal to or $15 at the door--cash. This covers the little session (5-10min. A variety of silhouettes will be captured) then full files are customized with the color of your choice and purchased after (at a minimal fee- $5 per file).
Studio Location: 608 E. Wilmington Ave SLC (this is in sugarhouse.)
Contact: 801.369.3197 with questions or if you get lost.

There are awesome card layouts you can put the silhouettes into if you desire (I have ones you can purchase), or you can use these around the house, small or large for presents. Oh my! There are all sorts of things to do and its exciting!

Hope to see you!

November 3, 2011

post lazy

i don't know why. i've been photographing loads. i think the summer did me in. so much work. so many deadlines. tired.

but i'll do some soon.... like after saturday. i promise.

for now, i'm running to the lab to turn in more film.

our life is a little topsy turvy and i'm just holding on... not holding breath... but just holding on. reading stories to my children, making meals, planning things, looking toward the future.

see you after the weekend.

November 2, 2011

when a child needs distraction

give her your purse. full of film. this is what will happen before you realize that was dumb. doh.

November 1, 2011

november books

I only have 1.5 of these left to read. I sprinted through october's, and a few other books before diving into november. I just am feeling the before the holidays, baby, crazy life crunch... and I really want to complete this goal.
Almost done!

October 17, 2011

baby shower gift

in the last year, i've really embraced taking sweet, real photos of babies. these were of sweet carlyn's new one. she is a rocking artist. seeing their awesome familiy timeline made me think about all the chances we had to be true friends before it finally stuck. i respect and love her. what a lucky lady.

October 16, 2011

checking out drafts

apparently i never published this one. this picture is fun. those chairs are fun (and won't be in my house for at least 20+ years based solely on their light color and stain-ability). That mirror rocks.

October 15, 2011


I'm so completely ok with the composition of this photo. From the Sistine Chapel, this is Adam's hand... the father of us all, blessing, as it were, the hands that protected and ushered this little one's arrival. This is Cathy, the homebirth midwife I had as an attendant (with her practice partner, Briana) for E's birth and my care. I had her over this week and it was so beautiful. Having her presence is that, always. She is wise, knows me well, and really listened. Such a talk we had of so many things. As I approach my own birth experience (#3!), I am reminded, deep down, of my spiritual thoughts, yearnings, and convictions about eternity, truth and right and how those apply to my everyday, but even more in the right now about birth, children, love and responsibility.

1600 pushed to 3200, I think. This was in 2009, November-ish.

October 14, 2011

October 12, 2011

couldn't resist

just one more of my beautiful old assistant and her beau. AND i learned a new way to tie my scarves that is so pretty and different. Thank you thank you. And we honked at dogs, and tromped in mud and laughed and laughed.

October 11, 2011

my old assistant met a boy

they're pretty in love and it makes me happy.

all on Mami. with film.

October 4, 2011


i was at the library, the last of the errands. it wasn't too busy. i kept running into this lady, or my kids kept running into her, and i was starting to get embarassed because today was not a good mom day. it was a, i'm never a good mom, i'm so exhausted, why can't i be more than i am, kind of day....

well, as we walked out of the library, and i had to use a loud, firm mom voice to tell W not to walk out the door until we could go together, and as i held his hand and started a little discussion on reasons why we should stay together in public (which he normally doesn't have a problem with but it kept happening all over the place today. bottled energy, i don't know, but i just can't move that fast and it scared me how quickly he'd go on ahead)... anyway, this same lady walks out behind me...

and she whispers,
you are a really good mom.
i enjoyed watching you with your children.

And i cried. literally. right there. tears welled up. and i thanked her.

i needed it. so much.

be nice to someone today. they probably need it, too.


click to enlarge

oh film. your latitude. i love love.

found some good light pockets. i like them. totally diggin' xp2. favorite.

happy happy with the results of this little ten minute naptime shoot with my friend, Christopher. I will remember how his glasses kept getting darker because it was sunny outside. I will remember how strange it was to try to photograph someone taller than me with Mami. 

I have been wanting to create something real of him for years. Its ridiculous how backburner things can become. 

Take something off the backburner this month, ok, peeps? Get something photographed that matters to you.

October 3, 2011

i like

friends that come over for me to do this:

but spend most of their time doing this:

Seriously. Christopher was a friend in college, but we've only become closer since and Todd and I both consider him a worthwhile friend of our family. W & E adore him. He has a good heart. So grateful for him.

September 30, 2011

the fruits

Had the pleasure of photographing this mom and daughter at the market. They wanted something sweet....

and something of their everyday type of lives. These ladies were HILARIOUS and I laughed the whole time I was with them. Such a pleasure!

october books

I'm on my last quarter of newberys. Its strange. I'm looking forward to reading these. Looking back over the last few months with the market and so much on my schedule with photo shoots and community involvement, I have zero idea how I finished those. Most of these are thick, which is daunting, but there are a few skinny ones. I will say, I'm not looking forward to reading Lincoln: A Photobiography-- I taught (high level TA for the American Heritage Department at BYU) a semester that focused on Lincoln and after all the reading of texts, preparing lessons, reading term papers, etc... I am Lincoln-ed out. still. I know.

september books

I read them. except smoky the cowhorse and the story of mankind. those were both still on the shelf from july and I couldn't take them anymore. definitely some great ones from this stack.

September 15, 2011

Avenues Street Fair

I know this isn't the first time this has happened, but it IS the first time it was someone new to me. Got this sweet photo in an email that said:

"Thanks again for my portrait.     
        I get a little camera shy & you have 
                     a knack for making people feel comfortable 
and downright awesome!"

Not only did this email totally make my day, but it reminded me of what a great experience I had creating that picture of her. I really love creating images, and it is a privilege to have everything align so beautifully on the fly. The market is pretty fast-paced, but I still get to really study the people I have met, even if it is only for five minutes or so. 

Saturday was a raving success to me. I met no less than five people who enthusiastically responded to my desire to photograph them for personal work. woot. AND most of the people were silly, fun and genuinely happy and laid back. It made things light and happy for me. LOVED.

August 31, 2011

long grass

oh the end of summer.

August 29, 2011

whilst I edit.

check out this lovely I had in the studio. She was fun. And made me think people are not crazy for photographing fashion.

August 27, 2011


personally, i love this. 

such a great face.

August 24, 2011

wednesdays: bribery doesn't go far in our house

its not used often. but I was slightly desperate. didn't work, of course. W brought her the step stool and the toys. it had been awhile of her squawking wanting for someone to get her off the chairs. Now its over, and she just gets down, but oh my, what a travail to teach her.

August 17, 2011

wednesdays: a "new" old one

so before Mami got serviced (by Forster's. They're great), she was doing this funky thing where she wouldn't advance rolls, and then she would only go to exposure 6. Anyway, this film was before I took her in. I've finally scanned it. I found this image and the double exposure didn't show up initially, until I started messing with the scan curve. WHOA.

its funky and fun. I like it. Its circa april 2010.

August 16, 2011

my city

i was out the other day, right before the sweet light came. and there was something about the look of this, the lamp, and the tree, the mural and the clouds. it clicked and i clicked. completely snapshoty, and that's ok. I like having a visual representation of being stilled for a minute, even if its not awe-inspiring.